WANT TO BE HAPPIER? ASK YOURSELF THIS
It can be so easy to get caught up in asking, "why?" when something doesn't go your way. But if you want to be happier, you should be asking yourself something else instead.
We've all been there.
We've all asked ourselves "why" about a situation before. "Why did this happen to me? Why did I freeze up? Why couldn't it have been different? Why aren't things the way they should be?"
When we ask "why" we tend to become focused on the past and what we may have done wrong. This can spin us in a negative spiral of self-doubt and cause us to replay the situation over and over again in our minds.
Change "why" to "what".
That's when it is time to change "why" to "what." As in, "What could I learn from this? What could I do differently next time?"
Asking "what" gives you the ability to acknowledge a situation without blaming yourself. It gives you the ability to think about the future, to learn and to grow instead of second guessing yourself or playing the victim (e.g. why me?).
The habit of asking what can help you become happier.
It can be hard to remember to ask "what" over "why" when something negative happens but so many more possibilities open up when you ask yourself "what can I learn from this?" The next time you are enticed to ask yourself "why" give yourself just one. You can only ask "why did this happen to me?" once. After that, change your mindset to "what can I learn?". Eventually, your mind will jump to "what can I learn" and bypass the "why me." Then every time something negative happens, you'll see the positive, find a way out, and feel like it's a challenge to be overcome, not the world out to get you. In other words, asking what questions can lead to a happier you.
Photo by Luca Bravo