THE PERFECTION OF IMPERFECTION
The last few weeks have been one opportunity after another to want to be perfect. First, I had my Vision Board Training Class (now available online). Presenting for one-hour is hard enough without the worry and pressure of being perfect. Then, only a few days later, I was asked to lead a new team at work and jump in head first to learn and answer questions at the same time. Then there's my mentoring appointments and even the podcast. Each one with a set of worries that if I'm' not perfect, I'll be letting someone down. Oh, and we've been picking colors and making decisions about the new house which has a lot of money in it, so of course, we want it to be perfect.
Are you seeing a theme here? There so many situations where the desire and self-pressure to be perfect could be overwhelming.
The perfectionist's voice.
Teaching a class of 20 people, leading a new team of 7 with a high-stakes client, speaking to nearly 1,500 listeners... each one comes a set of thoughts that try to pull me away from happiness and towards being perfect. For instance, these thoughts often include:
"If I'm not perfect...
I'll be seen for the fraud I am."
- no one will want to work with me."
- I'll lose the respect of my team and co-workers."
- people will think less of me."
- it'll show that I really have no idea what I'm doing."
- I'll get fired."
- everyone will shun me."
- people will think I'm stupid."
- I'll look like I don't have my stuff together."
- I'll lose everything because it all teeters on my ability to be perfect and handle every situation perfectly."
Even as I write those thoughts, it makes me feel anxious and like my life is going to fall down around me. Nevermind the thoughts about perfection surrounding how I should look when it comes to my hair, my body, my clothes, etc.
The intent behind these thoughts is to keep me safe BUT if I let these thoughts go unchecked, I'd be living in such a world of anxiety and pressure and fear that I'd never be able to do anything. Seriously, I wouldn't be able to leave the house.
A perfection in imperfection.
You may think, that because I'm writing an imperfect blog or because I've taught the class or spoken on the podcast, or have stepped in to lead the team, that I'm exaggerating my perfectionist thoughts. I'm not. These thoughts plague me every day, almost every hour. But I've found a way to keep going, to push those thoughts to the side, and to not punish myself for or replay every mistake I make. I look for the perfection in imperfection.
I remind myself that no one is perfect and if I taught the class or did the podcast perfectly, I wouldn't be relatable. I wouldn't be authentic. And I wouldn't be able to fully share my message.
If I lead my team perfectly, not one of my teammates would trust me. I wouldn't be able to help them in the way they would need because I'd be too worried about my own perfection. I wouldn't be able to help them learn because I'd be so closed off to it myself.
If I mentored my clients with a desire to be perfect, I'd miss their cues and calls for help. I wouldn't be able to help them grow because I would be too centered around looking, talking, and acting like I know everything.
I've found that there's a perfection in being less than perfect. A perfection is being real instead of obsessed with doing everything just right. Through my imperfection, I can help others more, I can lead better, I can be a better wife, and I can be who I really am meant to be instead of the plastic version of someone else's dream girl.
Using declarations to combat perfectionism and negativity.
Seeing the perfection in imperfection is one thing, knowing how to combat the negative perfectionist thoughts is another. So I not only remind myself of all the benefits of being imperfect when those thoughts overwhelm me but I also have a phrase that I have crafted to empower me to keep going. A statement that declares who I am and who I want to be, imperfections and all. Saying this statement in my head or even aloud, helps me realize that if I want to be who I want to be, I have to let go of perfectionism and step into my true self. And the funny thing, this statement isn't earth-shattering and it doesn't directly say it's ok to be less-than-perfect but it guides me in the right direction.
My statement is: I am an intuitive mentor; vibrant, abundant, and filled with light.
Perfectionism keeps me down and it doesn't allow me to step into a vibrant space. It's dark and depressing, the opposite of the feeling of light I want. It keeps me from seeking and creating abundance. And it certainly doesn't allow me to intuitively mentor anyone. So I say my declaration and the thoughts go away. And then I'm able to step into the hard situations, to lean into the love of others, and to even love myself.
Creating your own declaration.
I highly encourage you to create your own declaration to combat and ward off the negative thoughts of perfection. Think of who you want to be, put it in a sentence, and remember to say it to yourself when the tough situations of perfection come up.
And if you're interested in learning more about declarations, check out my Declarations Success class. In the class, we'll explore the differences between affirmations and declarations, understand different types of declaration statements and when to use them, and teach you how to create your own power statement declaration to help you overcome perfectionism and align with your dream life.
Remember, you don't have to believe the perfectionist's voice. You don't have to be perfect. And you don't have to do everything right. You just have to have the courage to be you and declarations can help you remember the perfection of imperfection.
Listen to the audio reading of this blog article and get extra commentary on Happiness Abound the Podcast, Episode #221