EXPLORE WHAT YOU JUDGE TO LEARN WHAT YOU FEAR
We all judge and we all fear being judged at one point or another. I'm not talking subconscious judgments that we make within an instant of seeing someone, those generally aren't the judgments that reveal our fears (for the most part). Today, I want to talk about those judgments we make on peers, co-workers, social media leaders, celebrities, etc. The judgments we make based out of jealousy, and insecurity.
Maybe you can relate to these examples:
- judging another mom's parenting or lack thereof
- judging a friend on social media for buying a new car, a new house, or going on vacation
- judging a business owner for how they prioritize their time
- judging a co-worker for taking a break
- judging a friend's messy house
Each one of these examples displays a fear of one type of another. A mom fear's she's not doing a good enough job parenting, so she judges another to feel better. A friend fears they are missing out or not making enough money so they judge another for buying new things or taking an epic vacation. A business owner doesn't have as much time with her kids as she'd like, so she judges other business owners for how they spend their time. A worker fears being called a slacker or considered weak, so they judge a co-worker when they take a break. A friend fears their house isn't clean, big, or presentable enough, so they judge another's house to feel better.
When we judge out of fear, we tend to be harsh and cruel towards the other person. We think they are slackers, they don't care about their family enough, or they are shitty parents... compared to ourselves. Now flip the table... if you aren't insecure or jealous and you see someone succeeding or doing something different than you would, we tend to admire them, to want to emulate them. Or at the very minimum, we don't invest any thought into what they are doing.
When you look the things, situations, and people you judge, it can be incredibly enlightening into our own fears and insecurities. So next time you feel the prickle of judgment, jealousy, or insecurity towards what another is doing, take a step back and look at yourself. Acknowledge that it's ok to be afraid and that judgment can help us see ourselves better, change our situations, or, at the very least, help us feel more compassion for one another.
What do you tend to judge other people on? Does that judgement highlight something you may be feeling fearful or insecure about?